Ignore this story, and date online anyway

21 Jul

In New York City, many of us pretend to be above online dating and do it anyway. As it turns out, you can do it and not be a loser (i.e. me), but it doesn’t mean you aren’t one either (i.e. the guy I’m about to tell you about). I tried Match.com for a while last year. I met some great people — one of whom I am actually friends with (I know, right?)! — and probably every type of man that exists in NYC proper, and a couple in New Jersey. It’s good research when you’re new here (or bored).

While this is unrepresentative of my experience with it, here is the journal entry from the worst date I went on:

DATE #23:
Brian, 7/8/08
Profession:
I.T. guy
Age:
32

Wow, this is for the books. I feel as if I’ve just been forced to listen to radio static and car commercials for six years and dunked repeatedly in a tank of expired milk. As it goes with most dates, I knew within five minutes that I would never see him again. No chemistry. And he did/said the following things:

– Talked about how his mother puts sunscreen on the crown of his head.
– Volunteered that his family are all “horrible” with money.
– Mentioned his dad’s estranged “second wife.”
– Probably asked me two questions the entire evening.
– Took me to a bar after our meal, where he said one of his best friends is the bartender. The guy looked like an escaped convict and said the F-word about 17 times per sentence.
– Talked about his ex-girlfriend.
– Started many stories with, “Don’t hold this against me, but … “

I don’t know why I just told you that. Date online, everyone! It will make you funny to your friends.

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8 Responses to “Ignore this story, and date online anyway”

  1. Brian F. 07/21 at 11:35 am #

    If this is your worst online dating story, you are rather blessed. If it doesn’t involve groping, puking, strange growths on the face, and/or an actual physical altercation between him and an ex he happened to run into, you’re doing quite well…

  2. Brian F. 07/21 at 11:48 am #

    Just so you know, I wasn’t trying to knock your story: that was a really awful date. But you are still very lucky they haven’t been worse. Fingers crossed…

  3. Brian F. 07/21 at 11:49 am #

    Ha… and I just noticed the guy’s name is Brian. Just want people to know: it wasn’t me!

  4. Meredith E. 07/21 at 8:06 pm #

    I have a similar story, but we only met for coffee. It was the longest hour of my life….

  5. Usman 09/30 at 10:35 pm #

    Sigh! wish you hadnt put IT guy there. It could have been anyone. This doesnt help the stereotypes and I am one. Infact I tell people I am in Information Management rather than IT just to avoid the stereotypes. However, that was one creepy chap and hope you are never subject to that again!

    Another IT guy

  6. Sarah 09/30 at 10:38 pm #

    If it helps, I ended up marrying an IT guy! 🙂

  7. Usman 09/30 at 10:46 pm #

    Brilliant! You made a very smart decision! GO IT 😛

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