Moving in: Do or don’t?

15 May

New York is a fantastic place to fall in love, and the expense of the city breeds a large amount of couples tempted to cut their rent in half.

But is this smart, or are you just broke?

A pretty good list from a pretty silly book called "Why Hasn't He Proposed?"

Good, healthy reasons to move in obviously exist, but the doing so for the primary reason (admitted or not) of financial relief has always made me nervous.

Recent studies also say this more often leads to a breakup than lifelong partnership. (There are conflicting studies and counterarguments, of course. Most involve a variation of the phrase “test drive the relationship.”)

By my simple random sample of my New York friends, all of them (and I mean ALL) who moved in with someone in their mid-20’s ended up moving out. From where I’m sitting, it’s an alarming rate of same story, same outcome.

Sure, not everyone cares about societal endpoints like marriage or monogamy, but I don’t actually know any of these people. Regardless, some things to consider:

Whose place will you move into? How will you tell your roommate? Do you have equivalent hopes for where this step will take your relationship? Whose commute will be affected most by the move? How will you secure needed alone time? Where will our guests stay? How long will our lease be? How will each other’s sleep habits be affected by your schedules? What will your parents think? Do you care what they think?

New York is a small place, and we all need our space, even when we can’t always have it! Being in love is FUN, and only you know how to do right by your relationship.
As always, comments are highly encouraged. We’re nothing if not a place for healthy debate and firsthand experiences. What are your thoughts on shackin’ up in the city?

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