Happy New Year, NewNewYorkers!

1 Jan

Anyone go to Times Square to ring in 2011? See anything crazy (besides people absolutely jamming their tongues down each other’s throats? Ew.) Here’s to new beginnings on those crazy New York streets.

I choose this post today because your first “wtf was THAT?” experiences on the city streets are moments that say, “We’re not in [wherever you moved from] anymore.” This is an excerpt from my memoir, Two Years in New York City:

Today I saw the craziest thing I’ve seen since moving here two months ago.

So I’m walking west on 36th Street to my grocery store, which is on Third Avenue. On the other side of the block, I saw a man with a DEAD DEER HEAD STRAPPED TO HIS CHEST. You know, one of those trophy heads that are usually hanging on a wall? It’s strapped to his chest like a baby harness or something.

I saw a shoe hanging from a tree once. It wasn't that weird.

I saw a shoe hanging from a tree once. It wasn't that weird.

He was holding a video camera, filming himself walking, presumably to make it look like the deer was trotting through Manhattan. Maybe that wasn’t what he was doing at all, but it’s safe to say we will never know. The important thing to note is that he had a giant, antlered cranium attached to his pectorals.

I laughed out loud, and so did the girl walking a few steps behind me. I kind of wished I’d turned around and smiled, just to share the moment with…someone.

Oh, New York. J’taime.

The man waving his arms, stomping his feet, and making Pterodactyl noises in the Union Square subway last night? Close second.

You can tell how new here I was when I wrote this — because I WAS NOT WALKING WEST. I was walking east; I was coming from Madison. As a newcomer, I didn’t have my bearings, but I left it in as written. (I also definitely would not have known how to spell Pterodactyl. Cheers, my book editor.)

I would love to hear about your awesomely crazy Streets of New York experiences in the comments.

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2 Responses to “Happy New Year, NewNewYorkers!”

  1. Nancy from Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas 08/11 at 10:39 am #

    The weirdest thing I’ve seen on a NYC street was one of the legendary sewer rats. We were walking to the hotel after a late stop at the Empire State Building and the subways had closed. We walked by an alley and I thought I saw a cat out of the corner of my eye. I quickly realized that was no M-F’ing cat! I jumped out of my skin and ran for it. It still gives me the heebee jeebies. I know, it’s not as good as a deer head, but I’m from Vegas. We’ve got the corner on weird. We just don’t have rats that are THAT big.

  2. Katie 08/11 at 11:49 am #

    I once saw a very large homeless man who was shirtless and shaving his Vaseline lathered chest. Ick. I can’t remember exactly where, but it was on the side of a busy highway/expressway. Definitely not something I’ve ever come close to seeing in Oregon.

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